Ah, summer. It’s lovely. And hot. Even though there have been times in the past month where I’ve sweated straight through my clothes and searched frantically for an air-conditioned room, I am actually enjoying the heat. Feeling the hot sun on my skin and feeling the moisture rise through my pores just makes me feel alive. I’m actually surprised by this reaction because I usually hate being hot. I mean, does anyone really like it? But for some reason this year I’m just not getting too worked up over the heat. Maybe it has to do with being more at peace with myself and my overactive sweat glands…maybe it’s just knowing that this is a season that will pass quickly into fall. I want to absorb the atmosphere and drink in the thick, southern air as I sit on porches with a cold drink and good people beside me.
I can’t believe it’s already July. We’re officially in the second half of 2010 and I feel like the latter part of the year goes by quicker. Before I know it the girls will be back and then we’ll be leaving for Thanksgiving break. June was a little rough for me because I felt acutely the absence of the girls at school. I didn’t think I’d miss them so much, but when they left I felt lost and alone. I think a lot of that is because I’m still getting settled here and a lot of my time last year was spent with high school girls. I’ve cultivated some community among people my age, but I know I could do better. So at the beginning of summer I spent a lot of time at my parent’s house or at our new mountain house on the parkway and avoided my room at school at all costs. It was messy and hot and I just didn’t want to be there. It made me feel isolated and lonely.
But I turned a corner a few weeks ago after spending a week at Windy Gap with a group of girls. I had a great time at camp and loved the girls – I led a trip of girls who go to two different schools in Winston and who couldn’t go to Sharp Top with our area. I had so much fun getting to know them and it wasn’t even that bad being the only leader. It was great having time with Jesus in the morning because I just feel closer to Him when I’m at camp. I think it’s because life is slow and the outside world isn’t there to distract us. It makes me realize that’s how life should be and I feel more complete and rested in that world.
When I came back, I relaxed for a day with my family then came back to school and cleaned my room within an inch of it’s life. I think there was actually stuff growing in my fridge. It’s amazing how much better I felt afterwards! It brought peace to my soul to have a clean apartment because it reflected how my heart had been cleansed at camp. And now I’m happy to spend time here and relish the quietness of my little bungalow on the third floor. I’ve gotten a lot of great alone time which definitely goes against my instincts – I’m an extrovert by nature and crave community. But I’ve learned the value in solitude and know that I’m really not alone. I’ve got this wonderful heavenly Father who hangs out with me and teaches me stuff when I quiet my life enough to listen.
So, hopefully I’ll write a little bit more because it just soothes my soul. I don’t have any deep insights to share with you right now, but stay tuned. I know my Author will inspire me with words. Right now, I’m just listening and waiting. And soaking up the sun.